Rampage COVID-19 Coverage: Guest Reporter

Dear Coronavirus, 

I am going to politely ask you to leave. You have taken my fun away, trapped me in a house with my three sisters and are not allowing me to leave. You have stolen my track season and if you mess with my softball season, then we are going to have some problems. I don’t know if you realize the pain you are putting people through, but this toilet paper ordeal is causing public chaos. Your symptoms don’t even require using an excessive amount of toilet paper!!! Let’s just put it out there that you have also forced me to binge-watch Netflix, causing me to stay up all night and sleep during the day. THAT’S NOT HEALTHY!!! You are killing my sleep schedule and I really don’t appreciate that. Who invited you to raid the Earth as if you own it? Nobody wants you here. 

Of course, there are SOME benefits to being stuck inside the house. I have cleaned my room a few times and I learned how to make homemade Mac n’ Cheese, with the help of directions from the box. I have also attempted a puzzle, even though part of it is still in the box in the living room. I am in the process of teaching my dog to say “wassup” with a little head nod. My sister and I have also taken up painting, and believe it or not, we aren’t bad. My dad and I have been putting together the Star Wars Lego sets together as well, and my mom and I have been playing board games and watching movies/shows that we both enjoy. Coronavirus, although you are a pain, you have been forcing my family to be a family, and I couldn’t thank you more for that. 

All that said, we still don’t want you here. You have made your mark, now it’s time to leave.

Sincerely, 

Abbi Cataldo